My Baby's In Love with Eddie Vedder

Cale: Hey folks, Cale and Mindy here. And Mindy, I was just sitting there thinking, while most kids our age on Friday nights are out there getting drunk and cruising, what are we doing? we're sitting here, we're podcasting, right? You know? So what the heck? That's okay. you're wearing your Def Leppard shirt Mindy

Corbett: Yeah.

Cale: and I'm wearing my back and black shirt, so we're almost ready to party, you know. So Mindy

Corbett: I think I might

Cale: Yeah, Mindy

Corbett: actually be causing some sort of a shift in the universe because I'm kind of combining my Def Leppard with a little Eddie Vedder. So I'm not really sure exactly if there could be some sort of seismic collision.

Cale: There's a seismic collision, all right, in the fact that that is in no way an Eddie Vedder associated flannel shirt. That is a Roger Corbett flannel shirt. That is this Eddie Vedder guy has not a darn blinking thing to do with it. Let's be honest. We're not perfect. We get on each other's nerves. We wonder what this is all for. But I think like most couples who are in love, we push through it, we persevere, one of the things that I wanted to have you talk more about that you introduced last time was the whole red, green, yellow, some of the coping mechanisms that you've come across either from, people who have introduced them to you or you've read about them, whatever. I'd like to have you kind of unpack that a little bit more, Mindy

Corbett: So some of this stems from, you know, actually a visit with our regular physician. So I, you know, I've been speaking with her about some, some struggles that I'd had here and there, you know, with, you know, we work from home and having some difficulties kind of splitting focus and things like that, because, you know, it can sometimes be very difficult to do that when you're two people working from from home, your office. mean, literally, if you look out my door, is Cale's office door. And

Cale: Right. Mindy

Corbett: we're pretty loud. You can hear us both on calls. If you were to walk through our front door, you'd be like, what is wrong with those two? They are so loud. And so it's difficult sometimes to focus. And I... will get very deep into what I'm working on. And sometimes I will be working on something that's very detail intensive. It takes a lot of concentration and I will be deep in focus and Kayla will come in and go, hey, I want to ask you a question about, you know, whatever. I'm like, damn it.

Cale: Now at least for the record it is it is work related when I'm not coming in talking about like my favorite chili recipe or hey, talking about our favorite episode of a rerun of cheers or something. I mean it's business related, but your point stands, Mindy

Corbett: of the time, although it is, hey, we've got an Amazon delivery. Did you not hear the door? That does happen sometimes. But the same thing happens when you're in an office, you know, people will come to your desk. And I used to have this, this guy that would come to my desk and this used to make me so mad. He's driving me crazy. He'd come to my desk and he'd do this thing where he knocked on my desk. First of all, I hate it when people touch my stuff. He'd come and he'd knock on my desk and he'd go, hey, quick question. And I'm gonna tell you right now, this particular person, his quick questions were never quick. They were always like 30 minute crazy garbage. But anyway, besides the-

Cale: W well, did they did they do the thing where they said, Hey, let me have a quick question and they put their booty on your on your desk. Yes, yes. Mindy

Corbett: their butt on my desk? Yes! Yes, it is dirty. I've been outside in my bus pants and I'm gonna sit

Cale: Yeah, possibly. Mindy

Corbett: on your clean desk with my bus pants? Yes.

Cale: Now chances are it was car pants, but I take your point. People later on will have to do some Googling to know what the heck you're talking about with the bus pants, maybe, but maybe. yeah, I think Mindy

Corbett: I must pass.

Cale: they probably know Big Bang Theory. But anyway, so yeah, so the the the point Yeah. The the point you were making was that some of those things are common in the workplace period. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mindy

Corbett: You know, if you've been in a situation where you work in a cubicle office where everybody works in cubicles or you're working from home and you're close to your coworker all the time or your coworker who happens to be a cat. or a dog. And so I was really kind of talking to my doctor, you know, just kind of talking about some of this stuff in relation to, know, do you have enough support at work, whatever. And she says, you know what nurses do. And she was telling me this story about nurses in hospitals and how in a lot of situations, they're pushing around a cart and this cart has their tablet that they're working on. And if they're working from this cart, and they're working on something that requires focus, they will have a little indicator that is a red, green, or yellow light that says, not disturb or whatever. And she says, you need to adopt something like that. So she says, look at, you can order them from Amazon or you can make them yourself. It just says, red, yellow, or green, and these are your different categories. Red means you're do not disturb, you're deep in work, you require focus and concentration. Don't come in my office. Don't knock on my desk and say, quit question right now. You know, don't knock on my door unless it's an absolute emergency. Or you know, or you could have yellow up means that you're busy, but you can answer questions if they're quick, but you cannot stop for quit for, you know, long drawn out conversations. They have to be fast. They have to be brief and they have to be relevant or green. You're available to talk and you're able to collaborate. So That way there's a visual signal for anyone who wants to approach you or needs to approach you about what your availability is at that moment that doesn't necessarily require a closed door.

Cale: Now I will say and I'm half serious, half teasing here from sort of the behind the scenes perspective, after you gave me a stern talking to about the the interruptions as if I was murdering the Pope or something, I just flat don't come in your office much at all. And then the flip side to that is with our two particular work styles, that means I may not talk to you till six o'clock, seven o'clock sometimes. And so I don't know that that's ideal either, right? all kidding aside, six and a half years on, I think we're still trying to figure that out day to day. There's there's probably never a good solid answer to how a person works with other people, period. Whether it's their husband or their wife, the guy who sits on her desk or some other rando, right? we've got our hang ups. back in the days when we work in the office five days a week, we'd have the folks who maybe even worse than what you're talking about, they'd go to the bathroom, come out of the bathroom and come over to your desk and whoa, I just saw Mindy

Corbett: Yeah.

Cale: you come out of the bathroom and I did not see you wash your hands. Do not put your hands on my mouse or there will be there will be words i yeah Yeah, don't your pen now. I'm here. Please t you have the pen. Mindy

Corbett: Yeah. This is why I didn't have to do the candy.

Cale: Yeah. You you take the pen, So now Mindy

Corbett: That's your window.

Cale: now I was gonna tease you a little bit here in terms of the red, green, yellow. We can't get you a cart with a red light because if we put a red light on it, you'll stand in the hallway all day. Waiting for it to turn green. Mindy

Corbett: Always.

Cale: That's right. See, took her took her a minute, folks. She's like, processing, processing. God, that's funny. Yes. my wife my wife is a rule follower. And so she'll stand there until that light turns green. It's like, honey, that's your signal to the world. You can go. I can't. I can't. Mindy

Corbett: I'm in

Cale: it's red. It's like, well, you're the boss, get out of my way. Fine. You stand in the hallway, but I've got to go get a drink, I've seen those especially when COVID very first came out. They would have like those signs you could put on your door that would be like on the air or yeah, recording Mindy

Corbett: Yeah.

Cale: or leave me alone, Cale, or whatever the the parentheses might be. You know. So Mindy

Corbett: Yeah. I've seen words that say, you know, don't interrupt unless you have, you know, Starbucks or a puppy.

Cale: Or you're dying, you know. Yeah. Well, you're already Mindy

Corbett: Are you dying? Or my favorite line up from my mom was like, don't call me at work. What is your bleeding or on fire?

Cale: Mm-hmm. Or or your brother's bleeding or yeah, yeah. Somebody that I gave birth to better be bleeding or on fire. Yeah. so so one of the things I wanted to kind of talk to you about there. if if I didn't ask you from time to time or come ask you about this or that thing, and this is a very serious deal. We've got business to discuss. There is a situation where there are things that we need to discuss that are timely. They have a they really ought to be discussed. at one o'clock or two o'clock versus eight o'clock. And the reason I say eight o'clock is because myself and you have a hard time stopping at something even reasonable, like seven. You know? And so you've got a note here wanting to talk about the boundaries and the home life and trying to have you and me both get better at quitting at a reasonable time. Like You've got the note here seven o'clock, for example. Do you wanna talk about that? Mindy

Corbett: That was a note.

Cale: that was seven o'clock was my note? Well Mindy

Corbett: Who's your dog?

Cale: well i it can't be my note because this is this is full disclosure. It says stop talking about work at the dinner table. We don't eat at the dinner table. I didn't write that. We sit on the couch and watch TV, so Mindy

Corbett: It surprised me. That is your note, sir.

Cale: Well, and yeah, and so when and how to turn off work talk. So I'll take that bullet. That one that one is tough. It's not so much that I want to talk work talk, but it's a thing where if I don't if I don't cover that topic with you and it is important to our joint business venture or how I'm helping you as your ops guy or whatever, if I don't talk about it at dinner, it doesn't get talked about. that's a very real thing that w I don't mind us confessing and sharing with people as they're struggling as well. how do you respect that boundary? When do you quit if you can't get it done during business hours for all the reasons we described? It's a very real, conundrum. now, and then there's the thing where it's a choice you make, and that is, and this is your bullet. When the office is the living room and this is you sitting with your this is not a Cale thing. I don't sit with my laptop and my iPad in my in my couch trying to call that my office. So that one is all you where you put yourself in a place where it's a transit zone where the dog and the cats and the husband may be. I don't have anything to share with you there except, hey, don't do that. Mindy

Corbett: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go on record.

Cale: that's what that's what the mortgage gave you the office for. Mindy

Corbett: Yeah. I'm going to go on record as saying I suck and I pretty much treat the whole house as my office. be better than me. but there are times

Cale: Why Mindy

Corbett: when I just want to sit in the living room with my laptop and I don't want to be in my office because I am just tired of being in there for a while and I need a change of scenery. So I want to go.

Cale: Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: in the living room.

Cale: a and that is and and there's nothing wrong with that except for your poor husband doesn't want to s doesn't want to be kept in his office like a prisoner because he daren't open Mindy

Corbett: you

Cale: his door to walk out to get a cup of coffee because he's gonna step into your office, the kitchen and the living room are contiguous. The next thing he's getting the hairy eyeball from the his his the office partner 'cause he's interrupted her space and See, folks, now see, we're not just putting on for the audience. This is how we spend our Friday nights, as lame and as obnoxious as this is. This is really not all that atypical. It just usually happens in another room sitting on the couch side by side, with her spilling dinner on herself. But it's pretty much the same dialogue. me telling her, get that out your mouth. Now I shouldn't even say all kidding aside. we're not kidding. It totally happened. What one of the things that I think that you have all seriousness for two seconds. I know there are things aspirational that you want to be better at, and it's not just the things we discussed, but the things I think a lot of folks struggle with when they work from home, getting up from your desk, drinking your water, walking your dog. Mindy

Corbett: I think that I need to get better about taking breaks, going to the bathroom, drinking water. I mean, can't

Cale: Mm. Mindy

Corbett: get through that. I need to stop trying to get through the whole day on a cup of coffee and a diet Coke. That's not enough liquid. I mean, let's be honest. I shouldn't save the bulk of my liquid for 10 o'clock at night in the bathtub.

Cale: And the bathtub. Yeah. when you've got a situation like mine where you pop by her office and you see that she has not moved, she has not drank any water, she doesn't have any food, whatever, and you have to run the calculus and go, okay. do I talk to her while her red light is on, quote? Or do I let her sit there and just desiccate and starve? Well, I used to try to help her and ask her, hey, do you want to get a snack or do you want some water? And when she gives you the exorcist, sp split pea soup head turn trick, you're like, Well, up yours and around the corner, sister So lately I just sit and watch you dehydrate. Because that's safer, But yeah. I tease only a tiny tiny bit. Hmm. Mindy

Corbett: What was one day either early this week or late last week where you came in and brought me a drink and a grilled cheese sandwich that

Cale: That's right. Mindy

Corbett: right there That was the answer That was the way

Cale: Well, I'm not well no, that that's a different story. And that is I just got tired of watching you slowly maybe die. And I didn't want to deal with the paperwork, of have the the city come and say, Now how long's she been there? Well, yeah, I don't not sure 'cause she didn't turn her red light off. I don't know. You know, ten hours or so maybe? hard to say 'cause she wouldn't let me come in. I don't know. She got very she got even quieter, All of a sudden it didn't sound like she was mad at her keyboard anymore. I just thought she passed I thought she went to sleep, you know. Thought she took a nap. But But yes, I did make you a grilled cheese and that is on the record, So I do make a mean grilled cheese along with, you know, various other foodstuffs. But Mindy

Corbett: Who's my grilled cheese dealer?

Cale: I am your grilled cheese dealer. That's right. So, Mindy

Corbett: So.

Cale: we talked we talked about boundaries last time. We talked about the getting better at doing what we know we need to do as humans trying to navigate just work and business with one another and everything else. What what would you say to the folks who are listening that might actually be useful that we've learned the hard way? I'm curious if you've got any pro tips from the hard school that you'd want to share with anybody. Mindy

Corbett: Set your boundaries up in the beginning. Don't wait until you've created bad habits like we have to set your boundaries. Because I mean, think about how many years did I come home from work at 8 p.m., come rolling in the door at seven, eight o'clock at night with my hand on the doorknob, my legs shaking, then run in straight to the bathroom. and you go, what the hell is wrong with you? And I go, I forgot to go to the bathroom and I hadn't peed at work all day long. And

Cale: 'Cause it yeah. I Mindy

Corbett: I've been doing that my whole life. Don't

Cale: Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: get into that habit. Don't start that garbage.

Cale: Well that and Austin Austin traffic made it worse. You know. Mindy

Corbett: Yes, because I'm you're sitting there going. god. Why didn't I at least go before I left work? so Yeah

Cale: 'Cause she wasn't very smart, Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: Don't start bad habits like that In the beginning so whatever you

Cale: Yeah. Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: can do to set your boundaries before you get into habits like that do them in the beginning and then Even, you know, there's a lot of people out there that tell you set an alarm to remember to get something to drink, set an alarm to remember to eat, set an alarm to go to the bathroom. Alarms do not work for me because I will shut them off. And if, if shutting it, if that doesn't work, I'll throw it across the room. It just doesn't work. I will just turn it off and work right through it. So yeah. So.

Cale: Yeah, or ignor or ignore it. Yeah, I I can I can testify. Yeah. Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: If there's something that does work for you, find it and use it. That doesn't work

Cale: Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: for me, so try something else. If you have to

Cale: I agree. Mindy

Corbett: keep dry cup of water on your desk, try that. That doesn't work for me either, because I will just sit there and flat ignore it.

Cale: Kinda forget about it. I'm guilty I'm as guilty as the next guy. I'll have a cup of coffee sitting sitting right next to me and it's two it's two o'clock before Mindy

Corbett: Yeah.

Cale: I finished it because I just flat don't see it. I think I Mindy

Corbett: Yeah, we both have coffee warmers on our desks because we have

Cale: Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: let so many cups of coffee get cold. So set boundaries in the beginning. Don't, don't let those kinds of habits develop. And if you are into those habits, find ways for you that just break that. If and whatever it is that you have to do that works for you, that's what you need to do. If alarms don't work, if big cups don't work, if mug warmers don't work, find something that does. Cause we're all

Cale: Well and Mindy

Corbett: different and we can make 8 million suggestions, but I'm going to tell you from experience that 90 % of the ones that I've tried, they don't work. Not for me.

Cale: And don't be well, and that don't be like us, because it's one thing. We're we're here, part of this Mindy

Corbett: Thank

Cale: whole podcast. The point of it is to be somewhat confessional. And I was telling Mindy

Corbett: Thank

Cale: her before we went on the air, if we if we share some of this, two things happen. One, it it sort of pays off the whole premise of the thing because one of the things in our in our show bio is hey, we're telling the truth about how it day to day how we navigate this thing. And part of that is, sharing that. And then I I think that by doing that there's a certain amount of public accountability perhaps, if the three or four people who watch this thing or listen to this thing go, Hey, Cale, did you drink your water? someone'll take care of us. I think the one that I would I would share it goes back to What I was gonna say is as your ops guy, I've been learning a lot of lessons the hard way when it comes to. what it is that you need from me in order to help you make your business successful, right? and it's not even so much the boundaries, but it was if I came in knowing what I know and knowing that the things that I can bring to the table are helpful to you, but I didn't ask you if you wanted me to do that thing at that time, it's not as helpful as I would want. And it's difficult, it it's not difficult as it used to be for me, but it was difficult at one point for me to go, why is that blinking woman resisting me so hard. Why does she not see this is the right thing? This is good for her, and I stand by that to a certain extent, but at the same time, not my business and it's not my choice. It's just my capability that I can offer if you want to take it. And that to me Mindy

Corbett: Mm-hmm.

Cale: is the share for others is just because you can do a thing and just because you no that that thing is good for the business or your partner, don't skip over the part I did where you ask him or her, would you like me to do that? Or do you need me to do that right now? Because her Mindy

Corbett: Mm-hmm.

Cale: answer may be yes. don't do what I did and avoid asking. Ask that ask your partner, him, her, them. Ask that person if they need you to do that thing. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. that's my pro tip to you. Be better than me, ask first, because then you may find out that they already did it. That's a possibility as well. There's fifty percent of the time I had this really grand idea and I did this thing for you like, well I already did that. But since you didn't ask me, now we've double dipped or we've we're doing it slightly differently or whatever. So that's my pro tip. Yours is yours is go potty, and mine is ask. that Mindy

Corbett: At the same time, communicate. mean, don't leave things to chance because what ended up happening is we wasted resources, essentially. You were doing

Cale: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mindy

Corbett: something that I had already done when you could have been spending your time doing something else. you know, so yes, go to the bathroom. Don't forget to eat, drink your water. Get up from your desk occasionally so that you don't get blood clots and

Cale: Yeah. yeah. Mindy

Corbett: you don't wet your pants. don't do don't end up doing double work because you you didn't talk about what you were doing and yeah.

Cale: Yeah. Yeah. Well that's true. That's true. we've covered a lot of good territory the last couple of episodes, this one included. Mindy

Corbett: I'm doing it.

Cale: Before we go, any last words, what did you what did you come across this week that was something that was positive in the world or fun or funny that you want to share with the folks who are listening and You may want to tell your office turn the lights back on So it's seven thirty on a Friday night and I've got the lights to turn off automatically. And the funny thing is is it was originally meant to give her a signal that it's time to quit. and there are any number of nights where she'll just like she said with the alarm. Don't don't worry about it, baby. You'll be yelling at the Google all night. yeah, there'll be any number of nights where I'll I'll walk past her office and she's sitting in the dark because she said, I just refuse to let the lady in the tube tell me what to do. You know? I would sooner I would sooner sit in the dark than than let Frugal tell me what to do, yeah. Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: it's true.

Cale: I want try something new, which is, hey, what Mindy

Corbett: Okay.

Cale: did you what did you see this week that was like interesting, fun, positive, life affirming, cute, whatever word you want to use. Anything you want to share that, made you smile this week? Mindy

Corbett: Yeah.

Cale: Yeah, yeah. Mindy

Corbett: I mean, I'm rewatching Parks and Rec. It's hilarious, as you know. Swanson. mean,

Cale: Okay. I yeah, no, that's I mean, yeah. What's that now? Mindy

Corbett: Ron Swanson. I can't even remember what the exact

Cale: Ron Swanson, yeah. Now but I was thinking Mindy

Corbett: line is, but his little will written on that little yellow

Cale: yeah. Mindy

Corbett: piece of paper that it's like, you know, if I'm dead or if I'm like,

Cale: Talking about his gold. Mindy

Corbett: If you find my body, know, leave my money to the man or beast who killed me. Or how are we supposed to, yeah.

Cale: Right. Yeah. Parks and wreck Parks and Wreck. there came a time, you're like, I saw this really interesting article about like that left handed snail. You came home from work one day years ago, you were just absolutely despondent because Mindy

Corbett: they finally found him somebody.

Cale: Yeah. Mindy

Corbett: There was a snail, I have to go back and look up the story, but there was a snail. Yeah, snails,

Cale: I think he was left handed s Mindy

Corbett: their shell swirls to the right, but this snail, his shell swirled to the left, and apparently that's very rare. And it's important because it's difficult for them to find a mate unless the female shell goes the right direction, the correct direction.

Cale: Right. Right. Mindy

Corbett: and they couldn't find him a mate for the longest time because he was a left-handed shell. And

Cale: Right. Mindy

Corbett: so he was alone. They called him like the world's loneliest snail.

Cale: Mm. Mindy

Corbett: But they finally found him one eventually. But

Cale: Right. Mindy

Corbett: it was really sad. It was so sad. That poor snail.

Cale: Now see that's that's my life as a left handed person and hateful right handed people like you all the time making me wish I could live alone, just overnight to listen to all your handist, you know, rhetoric, you know. Mindy

Corbett: live in a house where you use an electric can opener to drive me n-

Cale: Well that's just for fun. And then I think the other one, the last one was easy to we're since you didn't find anything new to talk about this week that made you smile, that Galapagos tortoise who was what was he like two hundred years old, they think? And Mindy

Corbett: Mm-hmm.

Cale: he just couldn't die. Right? He was like the Mindy

Corbett: Bye!

Cale: old remember? And he finally did. He was he was just it's like I'm tired. he'd He'd seen all the turtle women. He'd seen a few turtle boys. He was just over it, Mindy

Corbett: for things.

Cale: I think he remember he was old enough that he met Charles Darwin, right? I this this tortoise was Mindy

Corbett: Yeah.

Cale: that old, He's like, I'm just tired. Mindy

Corbett: you

Cale: His beak was all the haggard looking, remember? Mindy

Corbett: you one thing that's cute. So Taylor, this is our daughter, she

Cale: Mm. Mindy

Corbett: sent me a picture of her friend. So her friend, Kaylee, has a little boy When he was a baby, Taylor took a stuffed dog that I had made that I didn't even know what to do with. I did not love the way this stuffed dog turned out, but Taylor was like, it's so cute. She's like, he will love it. So she took this stuffed dog to him and he's like, what is he now? Like two, three.

Cale: Two or three, two or three. Yeah, toddler, yeah, preschool. Mindy

Corbett: And he's still carrying this stuffed dog around. And she sent me a picture a day or two ago of him still carrying this stuffed dog. This is still his like his favorite thing.

Cale: the thing the thing that I wanted to share with you this week that made me smile was was nothing necessarily that was for me per se, but it was again things that I saved and shared with you that make you smile. Like I saved up Mindy

Corbett: Mm-hmm.

Cale: a bunch of pictures of puppies who or dogs who were mad because they didn't Mindy

Corbett: Yeah

Cale: get something they wanted, right? He was told I wanted to share that I didn't have anything necessarily that sort of lit my brain this week, but I know that me saving that picture of that puppy or dog for you kind of made you smile. So that was really all I was after. Right? So all right. So on that note, Mindy

Corbett: Yeah, that one dog was not happy.

Cale: On that note, right behind you, buddy guy, who is ninety years young, as as he likes to say. Mindy got to see him a couple of weeks ago now. the short version is I stayed home with the dog and sent my wife off to Tulsa to see one of our favorite artists we both like and ninety years ninety years old, ninety years young. If you're into the blues, this guy is one of the guys who invented it. Go out and see him while you have a chance. I was talking about Rush last time. Go see them if you're a fan while you have a chance and go see Buddy Guy while you still have a chance before he before he shuffles off to the Delta in the sky at some point. On that note, I'll end on this Eddie Vedder has nothing to do with that shirt. and that's all I have to say about that. Happy Friday, everybody, and we'll talk to you soon. Mindy

Corbett: Alright, bye.